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The Development of Jewish Identity in Young Children: A Growth Opportunity for All Ages
What if we also want her to be aware of being Jewish, and to have Jewish dispositions and habits as characteristics of her core identity? If adults –parents and eventually teachers – are conscious of Jewish habits and dispositions, they can be models for the child. Engaging in rituals, holidays, and regular practices all become a part of what the child integrates into the rhythm of her life. However, there is an even deeper level of building a Jewish identity that comes from the interplay of the child and a basic understanding of the value of the individual that is an integral perspective of Judaism. Every person is created in the image of God – B’Tzelem Elokim - and yet each is unique (Sanhedrin 38a). Love and concern for God and for the well-being of others is central in Judaism, and we are given many ways to express our attachment through prayer, study, and mitzvot. In the process of learning to be effective in the world, the child will make many mistakes, some of them intentionally. Judaism teaches that freedom of choice is given (Pirkei Avot, 3:19) and that it is the child’s gift and responsibility to learn how to make moral decisions, using her attachment to God and others as guidance. As the child is given many different opportunities to participate and to express her feelings and ideas about ultimate concerns, she will find her authentic voice within Judaism. Ritual and practice are easy to provide, and they certainly give a young child the security of a dependable and enjoyable routine. The deeper identity traits, however, are formed through the moment-to-moment responses and interactions - the very culture - with which we surround the child. They also depend upon our own awareness of the Jewish contexts from which they originate. If we want young children to grow into adolescents that choose to be Jewish adults, we must learn how to be Jewish adults ourselves. We need to think about what it means for each of us to be created in God’s image, to love God and our fellows, and to know that we have the freedom to make our own decisions. Only then can we share the great joy that comes with identifying with a tradition that can satisfy our core personality needs, no matter what our ages. Resources: Abrams, J. & Abrams, J. (1994). Jewish parenting. New Jersey: Jason Aronson, Inc. Bruner, J. (1990) Acts of meaning. USA: Preseint and Fellows of Harvard College Cohen, A. (1949). Everyman’s Talmud. New York: E.P. Dutton & Co., Inc. Cross, S. & Gore, J. (2005). “Cultural Models of the Self” in Leary, M. & Tangney, J., Eds. Handbook of self and identity, New York: The Guilford Press Gowen, J.W. & Nebrig, J.B. (2002) Enhancing early emotional development. Maryland: Paul H. Brookes Publishing Co. Mischel, W. & Morf. C. (2005). “The Self as a Psycho-Social Dynamic Processing System: A Meta-Perspective on a Century of the Self in Psychology” in Handbook of self and identity. New York: The Guilford Press. Ryan, R. & Deci, E. (2005). “On Assimilating Identities to the Self: A Self-Determination Thory Perspective” in Handbook of self and identity. New York: The Guilford Press. |
Much has been written about the angst of the adolescent who has to choose a path for himself among all of the options which he has been offered. Adults worry about the influence of peers, of the media, even of the examples that they themselves have provided. Young children, however, do not have the choices of either the adolescent or the adult. They must build the very framework that their identities will inhabit. The sense of having a personality, the awareness of how that personality is viewed, and the ability to use habits and dispositions of that personality to relate to others are “identity basics” that spring from the intense early interactions of each infant with those who care for her (Stets and Burke, 2005). She does not make “choices,” others make those choices for her. Her genetic predisposition interacts with the caring styles of the adults, and the foundation is laid for who she will be (Mischel & Morf, 2005). The choices belong to the adults. They decide if she will be given the attention she needs to know how to relate to others, to feel that she is effective in the world, and that she will be accepted if she authentically expresses herself (Ryan & Deci).